Damn facebook messes with my life again

So the other day I was feeling really happy (random) and decided to put that as my status on facebook.  Not ten minutes later I got a text from a friend asking if I'm getting married. 

It's really annoying that that is the only reason a female in her twenties would put up a gleeful status notification.  In my friend's mind, that is.  I know she meant well, and wanted to go all "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" on me, but thanks, but no thanks.

This is exactly why I haven't told anyone about the wedding.  None of my friends, I mean.  I've told my parents, and the BFF.  But that is it.  I abhor all the squealing, the wanting to know every detail, the assumption that they'll of course be invited to the bachelorette party.  No.  No, no, no!

I don't want any of that.  The reason we're doing it up in the Motherland is for our parents.  If I had it my way, I'd elope.  Groom said this long ago, and I always said (prior to being engaged anyway) that it would be better to have some traditional wedding to look back at years later.  Hell no!  But it's not up to me.

What IS up to me is who I tell, and when, and how.  I thought about how this friend would probably feel offended that when she asked me, I was misleading in my answer (I said I definitely would some day, haha!)  But the thing is, this wedding, it's not for her.  It's for me.  And though I have few things in my power to control, this is one that matters to me, and no one will know for a while!

Who's Groom?

So I guess I should talk a little bit about the man in my life, Groom.

We met quite a few years ago and neither of us thought anything of each other (other than "ooh, he/she is hot") because we lived far away from each other.  Thanks to facebook and a mutual friend, we reconnected a bit later and the rest, as they say, is history.

Years of dating long distance have definitely been tough, but it wouldn't have been possible without Groom's patience.  It's odd: for most things, he is the most impatient, hurried man I've ever met.  But with me, with all my ups and downs, all my anger, all my sadness, all my craziness, he handles it all with ease.  Maybe this is why roller coasters don't phase him?

Either way, he completes me.  Yup, he's my Andy to my April.  He's my Ricky to my Lucy.  He's my Phil to my Claire.  He keeps me grounded and is real with me.  And for all these reasons, he's going to be my Groom in a few months.

So there you have it, some requisite lovey dovey, ooey gooey, sentimentalness...

Relatives coming out of the woodworks

Today I got an email from a relative who is very infrequent in her emails to me.  I wrote her a while back with various questions about her life, her job, etc. and she didn't reply until now.  And how's she reply to all my questions?  She just probes me with questions about my impending nuptials.  Annoying!!

So I will take my sweet time to answer her.  People always want to gain information but rarely want to give it.  At least that's how all my screwed up relatives are, anyway.

No additional phone calls from the parentals, so at least that is good.  Stress level is about a 4 out of 10 right now, so pretty great!  I hope I didn't just jinx myself though.

Future MIL doesn't like me?

Yesterday Groom told me that Future Mother In Law (from here on out referred to as FMIL) asked him if I didn't like her.  What an odd thing to say.  I don't dislike her at all!  She's a lovely lady... the thing is that she is really really outgoing and bubbly and I'm... not.  I'm like a mix of April Ludgate from "Parks and Rec" and Carrie Heffernan from "King of Queens".  So when I encounter someone who's pretty much the exact opposite of me, I don't have much to say.

FMIL on the other hand always has something to say about any given topic.  She's super sweet and would do anything to help though, so I don't wanna sound like a bitch. 

I told Groom to just tell her that I don't talk much to anyone (true) and that I definitely don't not like her.  I don't know if or when Groom will tell her that, but I'll do my part and try to talk more and be more interactive.  Here goes nothing...

Date change announcement

I'm PMSing today which can't be good news any which way you look at it (except for the fact that you know Aunt Flow is coming, which means she'll leave that much faster.)

Everything and everyone is annoying the crap out of me, including myself. 

My phone was accidentally turned off yesterday and so I missed my dad's call... so then he proceeded to call me again at the butt crack of dawn today (8!) and then again at 10, when I finally heard it and picked up, half asleep.  Apparently the wedding date needed to be pushed back because the date I chose was the anniversary of a relatives passing.  Fine by me.

My dad also spoke about how certain relatives of ours heard the news with lukewarm apathy.  To be expected, considering they are some of the most jealous people I've ever encountered.  As long as there is no drama at the ceremony, I am good.

I feel like this wedding is consuming my life and it hasn't even been that long since I got engaged.  I am tired of thinking about it, tired of talking about it, tired of it all!  (Yeah, so why are you on here, you ask... I don't know.)  I wish I could press a pause button on everything and retreat to some cave for like a month.  Just me, the cave and some yummy food.  Oh, and maybe a good book to read.  Ah.. a girl can dream, can't she?

I haven't looked at saris, jewelry, hair, makeup or anything else for the wedding and honestly I don't think I will for a few months.  I never really understood women's obsession with everything wedding oriented.  It's not like little boys sit around and dream about wearing a tux and walking down the aisle. 

I should've been born a boy.  (No, I don't look like one at all, so it wouldn't work.  Plus I like hetero men, so there's that too.)

Mini success!

Dad called me today to tell me about how the talk went with Groom's parents.  He said he was happy with it!!  My father is not the type to say positive things like that, so I was more than elated to hear this coming from his mouth.

"They were very cooperative!  I was afraid they would have an issue with the date we chose."

"Oh!  Well that is great news!"

"Yeah, and they also said that they'd go over there a bit before the wedding to prepare and that if we needed help, that they'd accomodate."

"Wow, well that is really great."

I consider this a great success.  I am going to dwell on these diminutive victories because I don't know how frequently they'll occur. 

Eventually my dad gave my mom the phone to talk to me.  She asked if I had spoken to any number of relatives that I/we have had a falling out with... of course I haven't. 

"Well, I hope they don't cause a scene.  I doubt they will though..."

"If that happens, I will kindly ask them to leave.  That will be my day and I won't have anyone upsetting me on it."

Anyway, overall, today was a good day and I'm happier for it.  Trying to be more of a positive person as I am normally quite the pessimist. 

And so it begins... Part II

I spoke to my parentals about needing to call Groom's parentals.  I should have taken part in serious libations beforehand because to say it was a beating would be like saying "The Jersey Shore" cast is demure.  This may have also been why I was contemplating speaking to them the day after I had originally told Groom I would.  Regardless, it needed to be done, and I wanted this particular Indian monkey off my back.

First my mom picked up the phone.  I cut to the chase and told her that they needed to talk to Groom's parents to figure out dates and stuff. 

"...oh ok.  Hold on, talk to your father."

How many times had I heard this?  Countless.  Anytime there is anything of even remote importance, she relegates to him.  It's like telling her is never enough, nor does she ever even want to hear the details of whatever I am talking about.  I understand that both parents need to be in the know, but there is such a discrepancy between telling her and telling him first.  If I tell my dad anything first, he never feels the need to bring my mom into the conversation.  In short, it is exasperating and I'm just going to stop telling her anything to avoid further irritation on my part.

Dad got on the phone and he proceeds to tell me for the third time in the last few days how the cell phone companies are stupid "They want me to give MY social security number over the phone!!!" and how he proudly told them off "I told them 'Your company is stupid' and then I hung up on them!"  He gets hyped up on these type of things.  Anyway, after his lamentations were over, I broached the topic I called about.

"I don't really understand what I am supposed to call them for... you pick the date, we'll do whatever you want."

"Ok, I already told you the week I can take off work, so just fit it in that week.  I don't care which date in particular."

"I am feeling uncomfortable about this whole thing, but ok.  Just hope there is no drama."

Then there was about 15 minutes of him explaining how in the Motherland, he had seen countless people cause drama, how it was stupid, etc.

"What if they say the date is inauspiscious?"

"Then push it back a day."

"What if they say the whole week is inauspiscious?"

"Well that's unacceptable, I can work within that week but that's it.  Just tell them it's up to the bride's side and this is what we want."

"What if they say the whole month is inauspiscious?  What do you say then?  What if they say 'We can't do it anytime that month, it just won't work.'  What will you say then?"

I silently sighed and said, "Well, it's up to Groom and me and we don't have much vacation to spend.  So yeah, this is when and how it's going to be, end of conversation."

"Ok, we'll see."  Long pause.  "How long do you plan on being there?"

"I can take about a week and a half off."

"That is not nearly enough time!!  Your mom and I were thinking of taking 3 if not 4 weeks off to go!!"

"I told you I don't have enough vacation.  And anyway, I understand why you guys would need to go early, but why would I?"

Another pause.  "Yeah I guess you don't need to come early."  More pausing.  "Have you told anyone about this event?"

"The wedding?  No.  I don't want people asking a thousand questions about it."

"So then can we tell people?"

"Yeah, I don't really care."

"Ok, I'll invite only select reletives, but not the spouses I dislike."

"...Ok."

Then he went on for 15 minutes about how certain people within our family are jerks and what things they had to done to shun his otherwise warm familial tendencies (sarcasm).

The rest of the conversation was a blur as my headache was ever increasing and I was itching to just get off the phone and have a stiff cocktail. 

Texted Groom afterward to let him know that the deed was done and received a curt "K" as a response.  Apparently he was still sour from our previous conversation.  Well, I wasn't about to worry about it and make the rest of my day crappy because of it, or my parents, for that matter. 

The rest of the night was spent at an awesome restaurant, having an awesome dinner (Scotch eggs are TO DIE FOR), an awesome drink (whiskey sour type cocktail) and going to sleep in an awesome bed (snuggley goodness).

And so it begins... Part I

Today was fairly stressful for me.  Enjoyed myself thoroughly with the BFF, but Groom was acting up.  He was in a rotten mood because he was having to do various things for his parents over this long weekend.  Well, that's no reason to be ornery with me!

Last night, I told Groom that I was going to tell my parents to call his because that's tradition as far as conveying what dates the bride's side wants, etc, etc.  Goal was for them to call sometime this weekend.  So then why was this such a point of contention?

"Did you call them yet?"

"No, not yet... I'm out and about, and they may not be able to hear me, so I might do it tomorrow."

"Well I thought you said you'd do it today.  You still have a few hours in the day before it's too late."

"I have time to do it tomorrow if I can't do it today, so it's not a big deal." (tone starting)

"Is there a problem with you doing it today?"
"Why are you pressuring me?!  I said I'd get them to call your parents sometime this weekend and they will!  I told you that I'm out and about and they may not hear me because of all the noise in the background." (full tone)

"Fine, you don't have to freak out.  I was just wondering because you said you'd do it today."

"I was NOT freaking out, you kept asking and asking and I already told you why I might not do it today..."

The rest of the conversation was lukewarm, at best.  I sulked about for ten minutes before distracting myself with shopping for cute earrings and belts with bows for buckles.

Kate Spade belt



What's this all about?

Hello anonymous internet world.  I hope this blog brings you as much entertainment for you as it does stress relief for me. 

So here's my mini background info: I'm in my late twenties and I'm getting married.  Only I'm Indian, so it's going to be a week long affair in the Motherland.  (No, I'm not going to have elephants.)  I'm generally not a girly girl, but I think everyone else is expecting me to be so.  Hence my stress level already going up a notch or three.  I only recently got engaged, and the planning hasn't even begun, barring setting a date.

My goal is to be as hand's off as possible to avoid drama and confrontation (which I hate like Richard Simmons hates pants.)  My parents and Groom's parents have free reign to plan or not plan whatever they like.  I only wanted control over which date/week it was going to be on.

Stay tuned, next few postings will be catching up to current lamentations (or hopefully lack thereof!)